So let’s say everything in life feels good, like really great… things are totally going your way, deals are happening, business is flowing, your hair looks great, and your energy is through the roof.
Then something happens…
Something that throws all that positive energy you’ve been exuding right out the window. Suddenly, everything looks dark and bleak. Hope drains right out of you, you have a hole in the center of your chest that just won’t go away, and you honestly can’t get yourself moving to do all the things you were so excited about just before. How do you cope? How do you get your mojo back when life has fallen apart?
The natural tendency is to “fill the void”. That big hole in your chest doesn’t feel good. You want it to go away as soon as possible. So you try everything else possible: buy things you don’t need, eat comfort food, numb yourself with alcohol or worse, and in the event of an abandonment situation- sex with anyone who makes you feel wanted. None of these are healthy positive traits and none will actually make you feel better. They will do nothing but make you feel worse.
In those dark moments, the only positive coping mechanism that truly builds you back up is self-care. Self-care means you spend time processing your experience and care deeply for yourself the way a loving mother would care for her child.
Writing down all your thoughts, as if you’re speaking to a best friend, to let it all out, bare your soul, cry as much as you need to, and hold nothing back.
2) Mirror work
Louise Hay wrote an amazing book focused on this topic. Essentially, you look yourself in the mirror and say all those things you know you need to hear: I love you. You are strong and capable. You are a survivor. You are beautiful, inside and out. You can do this.
Honor what you’ve been through and allow your body, mind, and heart to rest and heal. Take some time each day to just be. Read a book, meditate, take a walk in nature, sip some herbal tea. Maybe do all of the above… This is about rejuvenation.
You may or may not feel like eating. If you lean towards comfort food, look for healthy versions- things like soups, oatmeal, toast with avocado. Warmth is important here. If you tend to feel icky in the tummy and avoid food, try sipping smoothies with added protein. Cooler and liquid is better for you in that case. Lack of nutrients will cause more anxiety so it’s important to keep yourself fed well. Drink lots of water and chamomile tea instead of alcohol- it takes the edge off without the negative side-effects.
Take it slow but allow time each day to focus on your goals, your dreams, your work, keep yourself moving forward. Don’t expect to keep the same pace you were and don’t frantically try to attack your work in an effort to block your emotions. Find balance in your focus time with the other items above but keep yourself moving.
You’ll find that, in time, by following a strong self-care routine and building a positive focus, you return back to yourself and your normal happy, amazing life. Remember also, not to put a time limit on it. So long as you’re focused on self-care and continue to move forward, you won’t falter, life won’t fall apart any further, and you will spiral upwards rather than down.
Also, don’t think you need to be in a life-altering position to feel this way. This could be an argument with your significant other that leads to only a day spent doing the above or it could be getting over something major.
The key is to care for yourself.
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